Proper etiquette for dating a widower

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Widowed who are truly ready to date do not use their widowhood to control the pace of a relationship or coerce their girl/boyfriends into accepting unilateral terms of engagement.

The best answer I ever heard was something along the lines of And it is. Stereotypes say that men date sooner and remarry more quickly than women do, and there is statistical validity in this.

But there are those who wait out the so-called year deadline of propriety too, and others who buy wholeheartedly into the notion that they must “work at their grieving” to get it all out of their system before trying to move on in any aspect of their lives, dating included. In my opinion, and experience, when thinking about it begins to more of a logistical “how will I do it” rather than a daydream to chase away sadness, you are probably ready to look into it at the very least.

A couple of cautions: 1) Your family and friends will be at different stages of “ready for you to date” than you are.

Taking their feelings into account is good, but don’t forget that they have their own lives to mind and should leave the minding of yours to you. Try to avoid a revolving door of dates where underage kids are concerned.

If you weren’t living your life by committee prior to your spouse’s death, don’t start now. Only introduce them to people you feel you have a future with, and when you do, expect them to behave like well-brought up humans. If problems arise with adult children, remind them that they should spend their time and energy minding their own lives.

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