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The thing about claiming to have gotten into online dating “before it was cool” is that there is no such time: Online dating never actually got cool.

It just became normal, as more and more people realized that the internet is, indeed, a legitimate communication pathway and that “real life” people use it to connect to each other.

It wasn’t even that funny, much less funny enough to clone yourself and cry about it!

But yeah, older dudes and the emojis mix well, probably because they can afford to fix their cracked screens and therefore see the whole collection at any given texting time.

But if it ever gotten cool, I certainly got there before that time—I was online dating in the year of our Lord 2007, before most people currently alive were even born.

I jumped on and off the online- and app-based dating wagon for years, putting in my time on OKCupid, Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble.

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What I found instead was a veritable feast of f*ckable dudes who were not only picking up what I was throwing down, but also apparently had learned that the correct way to react to a text message from a woman you’re seeing is to actually answer it in full sentences within a few hours of receiving it. This realization is just one of many genuinely surprising-in-a-good-way discoveries I've made since trying the whole dating thing again, this time as an older and wiser woman in her 30s.

On the topic of raking lawns, it reminds me, naturally, that we are all on a slow and unstoppable march toward death, a fact that we think about more often as we get older.

So as my age range preference has expanded to accommodate more dudes in their mid-to-late 30s, I find that they realize more keenly that they don’t have all the time to “see what happens” and “play the field," and not just because their vision isn’t what it used to be and sports really agitate their increasingly fragile back muscles! And on that note, the imaginary children I’ve been thinking about for decades are finally something that it is fine to talk about.

It was these realizations that happened over and over again in my 20s: In contrast, the realizations in my 30s have felt more varied and have forced me to consider what I will and won’t compromise on.

If a date of any age didn’t have a steady career in my 20s, I didn’t think much of it unless they were, like, getting summonses from debtors' prison.

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