No dating during codependency recovery

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When it comes to relationships, the realities and rules of abstinence after addiction become all the starker.Whether as a client or a companion, a guide to sober dating is very important in understanding how matters of the heart change.One person confessed to that even after four years of Narcotics Anonymous, she couldn’t help but go back to the same strain of “train wreck relationships” that characterized her years as an addict.

Being involved with someone for whom that possibility also exists greatly increases the chance of the two people falling back into the same habits – only this time, together.Even for people who aren’t using anymore, and who consistently work the program, there is an unconscious identification with other addicts, to the point of seeking out romantic or sexual partners with substance abuse problems (either borderline or full blown).Part of the draw comes from the feeling of relapsing without actually doing it; a psyche that is still too strongly tempted by addiction can rationalize anything, including staying with a partner (or multiple partners) who are using drugs.Without that sense of identity, it is all but impossible to form balanced, healthy connections with other people.Therapy and aftercare support go a long way in restoring bridges that were burned by the addiction, but dating requires much more work (and time) than simply rekindling a friendship.

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