Somewhere down the line, I lost the ability to form quality connections because I was online apps trying to form several at once. It wasn’t until an older friend had a sit down with me that I realized the only person that was really losing out here was me. So, next time your version of Billy messages you wanting to meet when you’ve already got plans with James, tell Billy to take a cold shower.Don’t even think about sending your location to Simon.Chocolate bars, glasses of wine, episodes of Sex and The City … Gay men, in particular, have a reputation for doing things to excess. I am your typical metropolitan millennial gay that makes use of social media, dating apps and tacky clichés like they’re going out of fashion.Friends have been known to refer to me as ‘the one-date wonder’. Because I’ve been known to jump from man to man, never managing to find the one that’s just right. This isn’t helped by the fact that in London there is a constant stream of men at your fingertips. I’m not judging others, or requesting your judgment, but my attitude has been why date just one man when you can date three and find ‘the one’ all that quicker?
It’s sometimes more satisfying to consume ‘treats’ in larger quantities than it is to just limit yourself to the one. After all, for gay guys, isn’t an attractive man the biggest treat of them all? We over-indulge in what we convince ourselves is a positive thing, until we find ourselves back where we started with no tangible improvement in our situation.If we spent less time talking to lots of boys just for the sake of it, and more time really getting to know just one, we might see a different return on our investment.Maybe the New Year is a time to go back to basics: Quality over quantity.Presented on apps like a catalogue, but instead of products and clothing there are tribes and charming questions like ‘Top or bottom? If I’m guilty of anything, surely it’s just of being efficient. I reckon, at some point, 90% of us millennials have been guilty of dating multiple guys at once, Hun, be honest: you’ve been there.’ Let’s take three random individuals that I’ve encountered within this catalogue. Each of them offer different, yet unique qualities that can be very hard to choose between – so why choose immediately? True to form, he seemed perfect after the third glass of wine; he dressed well and had a good sense of humor. The thrill of having a busy social calendar and somebody’s hand to hold when you hit your local ‘gayborhood’ is an alluring concept.