Dating a very recent widower
The best way to approach this situation with understanding and care is to take a page out of the personal experiences of widows and widowers who explain what they valued at the time: Jedi Soth: “Offer understanding and a willingness to listen and (if necessary) distance for the widow/widower to cope with unresolved issues on their own terms if they choose to go it alone.” Sparkles56: “The best advice I have here is to ask the widowed person, ‘How can I be there for you?
’ Realize that at some points the widowed person might need space, and don’t take that personally.
I don’t expect a woman I am dating, or even more seriously involved with, to “help me get through my pain and loss”, as it relates to my late wife’s passing.
I should have done that prior to entering the relationship.” It’s a reasonable concern, worrying that a widow(er) will compare the next relationship to the one that came to a tragic end.
For a widow(er) to be ready to enter a new relationship, he/she has to feel comfortable analyzing past their grief and focusing on loving a new individual.Also, if the person was terminally ill and that illness took a long time to run its course, the widowed person may have done a lot of grieving prior to the actual occurrence of death and might be ready to date earlier than ‘the experts’ predict.For me, it was 18 months before I considered dating again.In my opinion, it is important for two people in a relationship to be strong enough that they can be a complete person to offer to another.I do not think that someone who is in a great deal of mental pain is a good candidate for a relationship.